How To Deal With Grief
We inevitably experience loss of our lovelies we work with, but in the midst of a world wide pandemic we will be experiencing multiple deaths and this will have an impact on us. I heard today one of ladies that come to day centre has passed away and this is so sad. It has to be said this is the most difficult part of the job. It is an area that not much support is given to AC’s or care staff in general within the care sector. Especially when you work in your role you can’t help but get attached and build an emotional bond with the residents you work with, well I am here to tell you it’s okay to feel sad when someone passes away.
But it is important to deal with your grief so you can move on in your own life without it affecting you or your career. I remember one of my first encounters with a death of a resident, I was a carer at the time and remember having to take ten minutes and crying my eyes out but told to pull myself together and carry on with my shift.
A bit harsh I thought, so from early on you teach yourself to bury your feelings and emotions. Not healthy, as it is important for you to have an outlet of expressing them and remembering the resident who has passed away.
Also it can be hard to know what to say to the family and residents. Sometimes it’s easier to busy ourselves with practical tasks rather than confront our own feelings of sadness and loss.
Even though you may feel out of your depth talking to family members or other residents about death, in most cases it is usually better to say something. Simply saying, ‘ I am sorry for your loss, she is greatly missed,’ can be enough.
It can help you move forward and confront your own thoughts about death. It is essential that you have the opportunity to talk about your feelings and acknowledge the death of a resident.
What You Can Do
Set up a support group at work.
Take time out to share special moments about a resident (pin up photos or special anecdotes about a resident in a public space)
Hold a memorial service for other residents and family members.
Make sure all volunteers and friends are informed.
Set up a grief box for other residents and staff to drop cards and notes of sympathy to the family.
GET MOVING!
Discuss your feelings after work by taking a quick walk with staff members.
TALK to a counsellor or someone you trust.
Everyone will experience grief in their own way. Grief can make us feel sad, angry or confused.
Talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling early on can be helpful. If feelings of grief seem overwhelming talk to your doctor.
AC Action Plan
Talk about how you feel.
Acknowledge it.
If you’re struggling in this area speak to your GP.
Set up something in your work setting to acknowledge the death of a resident that allows everyone to remember them and grieve, if there is nothing like this in place then talk to your manager about it.
Until next time keep shining and remember your worth. Do you like what I have shared?
Don’t Be Alone!
Come connect with me on FB and be part of my online community of fellow AC’s at www.facebook.com/groups/lovejoycentregroup
Until next time, keep shining.
Love,
Ann Marie x
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